Thank God For the Memories
by Philosopher
Summary: Harry watches Tonks at a holiday gathering.


Harry observes a few revealing moments as well as an awkward exchange between Tonks and her cousin at a holiday mixer. It's short, fluffy, and a little sad. Mild 'Honks' (Harry/Tonks). Hopefully it makes you think a little about gratitude.

Harry half sat and half leaned on the arm of a couch with one hand in the pocket of his kaki pants and the other holding a glass of hot apple cider. Although he occasionally glanced back and smiled at his mates who were all telling jokes and going on about quidditch and such, something in the kitchen him kept calling his attention. He could barely see from here but every now and then the children, who were supposed to be on their best behavior and not mussing their good clothes, would squeal and dash about as though being chased.

Sure enough a little gargoyle, not too frightening, would pop out from some spot beyond his view and make a grab for the closest one. One little blonde boy, who wore a red sweater that almost matched Harry's, had been bold enough to launch a dinner roll straight at it's head. The monster propelled it's self back as though struck by a bolt of lightning. At this the children exploded into fits of laughter and watched the gargoyle clutch it's head and spasm into an exaggerated death. Harry was now very curious to know what had become of the villain in this little make-shift drama. The gargoyle lay still for a good long time. The children emitted nervous giggles and took a few cautious steps toward it.

"WHAAARRRR!!!" The monster had sprung up again this time as a banshee. It chased the children out the kitchen door, around the corner, and half way across the foyer before getting too winded to follow up the stairs. When the kids were gone the banshee had changed it's gray scales back to pale skin. With a quick tussling of her hair it went from long, greasy, and black to a close cut that was somewhere between blue and purple. All that was left was a flushed and breathless Tonks.

She hooked a finger on her collar and tugged at it fiercely. She seemed to regret the choice of apparel. Even though the black shirt material was thin enough and her blue denim jacket was light the turtleneck was a bad way to go.

Everyone around him suddenly laughed so he too laughed even though he didn't have the slightest idea what had just been said. He didn't have to fake a convincing smile though. Something about just being there made him happy. His good feeling, however, was short lived and quickly replaced with guilt. How could he be enjoying himself when he should be grieving?

He glanced back at Tonks who was now helping her self to the refreshment cart out side the kitchen. She hadn't eaten anything since she got here. He knew this because the moment she arrived late all the previously fed children ambushed her and she hadn't had a moment's peace since then.

"Where's Jimmy?" A woman had asked as she entered from another room behind Harry. He had meet so many people tonight it was hard to remember if she was a co-worker of Mr. Weasly or Tonks or somebody from the Ministry. "I hope he's not causing any trouble for Tonks."

A man, presumably her husband, had answered, "Oh 'e's awright. Long as their not bleedin' or crying I say let 'em run 'round."

"Don't you think she'd rather join some real adult conversation instead of keeping the kids busy all afternoon?"

"What adult conversation?" Someone mumbled from the group. It sounded like Mr. Weasly. This got chuckles all around.

"Aaaare you kidding me!" The husband said waving her off. "She loves  those 'ittle rug rats."

"Listen to em, 'rug rats'. He spends two weeks in America an' now 'e's talking like um." Some man beside Harry had said that. He was sure they had been introduced but he couldn't recall the name. It seemed like every one in the wizarding world had been invited. "What did you do over there any way, Rupert?"

"Ah well we 'ad one a them Thanksgiving Day feasts with my cousins in Texas. You know wid the ingians(A/N That's not a spelling error. It's the character's slurred speech.) an' the furs Americans an' all."

"I thought the Indians _were_ the first Americans..." Harry stopped paying any attention at all to this as he had realized that the only thing on the refreshment trolley were cakes and sweets and really thick egg nog. Tonks was so flustered, she might want something more... well refreshing. Like punch. And She hadn't even had any of the ham. He had noticed a few times before that she tends to skip lunch when she gets focused on work.

At that point Harry realized how odd it was that he picked up on these little things about her. It was like finding that you can still recite the lyrics to a commercial jingle you hadn't heard in years. It's funny what you can remember when you don't even think much of it at the time.

He passed Tonks and went straight for the kitchen to get some punch and a plate with ham and taters and sprouts... no not sprouts. She hates those. There it is again, just like a song you never knew. When he shut the door of the fridge there were some photos there stuck with magnets, three of which were of the same event. He could tell because the people were dressed the same and the background implied some kind of amusement park or carnival. In one picture was the family this house belonged to. They were all in shorts and white t-shirts that said 'Goodman Family Reunion'. They were all waving to Harry and some of the kids were making rabbit ears.

Another Photo had three teenage girls with their arms over each other's shoulders. The two girls on the end sported the same 'Goodman' tee's while the third Harry knew in an instant. She was dressed in a blue jeans that had black leather stripes down the side and a black windbreaker jacket. With hot pink hair that was wild and styled and a heart-shaped face, it had to be Tonks. She appeared to be improvising a mock can-can routine. An unexplained, uninvited, and uncontrolled grin came to the boy's face. This time he forgot to feel guilty about it.

But the picture he liked best was the final one. It had just the mom and dad in the foreground but in the back he could clearly see Tonks with a little boy who looked remarkably like the one who had pelted her with a roll earlier. "Must have been an older brother or something." Harry mumbled. The two didn't seem to know they were in the picture.

The boy was small enough to be carried under her left arm like a duffle bag. She was pretending look for him as if he _were indeed_ a misplaced duffle bag. She checked under a bench, in a trash can, and even in her own pockets. Harry found himself watching this show with as much intrigue as the monster play earlier. Now came the climax of the production, where the girl finds her long lost prized possession and the two star-crossed lovers... or likers were reunited. She stood him up on a bench. Then with her left arm she squeezed the boy's shoulders while the right encircled his head and there on top of it she planted a big kiss. The boy repaid her with a peck on the check when she drew back. For a moment it looked to Harry as if the boy mouthed the word's 'I love you'. But It was hard to see in the background.  Boy you just can't get that with a regular old muggle picture.

He suddenly had an urge to meet this girl who had so much love and joy and energy and who absolutely oozed with a creative eccentricity. With a degree of satisfaction, that he would deny having, Harry remembered that he _could_ meet her. She was just in the other room after all. He grabbed up the plate and punch and went out to find her. Tonks wasn't at the trolley when he got there.

He walked into the living room looked around and walked back out. "Who ya looking for?" Ron called out after him. Harry popped his head back around the corner.

"Tonks. Ya seen er?"

"No. Sorry. Isn't she with the kid's?"

"Right!" He disappeared again. Then reappeared just as quickly. "Thanks."

"No..." Harry was gone. "...problem."

Two little girls were coming down stairs just as Harry was going up.  "Hey. Hey. Hey um..."

"Jezebelle."

"Jezabelle. Pretty name."

"Thank, you."

"Listen is Tonks up there with you guys."

"We're down here and we're not guys. We're giiiiirls!"

"Figure of speech."

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Uh." He sighed and rubbed his forehead with a free thumb. "Do you know if _she's_ up there right now?" They shook their heads. "Okay thanks anyway."

He stood there with a puzzled 'what now' look for a moment before he heard a very sarcastic, "Ah hem." The little girls were still before him, one with a flat open hand waving him aside.

"Sorry." He lifted the plate and cup over their heads and stepped aside to let them by.

Great! That meant she was probably in the conservatory. That's where _they_ were hiding out so as not to actually mingle with nice people. The Malfoys, the Goyles, the Crabbes'; _no one_ was left off the invitation list.

All the powerful families were connected and they still had to keep up appearances. Most of them just dropped by briefly enough to say that they had attended. The more ambitious ones had stayed to kiss Mr. Goodman's butt. He was a very influential wizard in the community. Some of the families were a distant relation to the Goodman's.

"Well here goes." Harry thought. As he came in sight of the conservatory his suspicions were confirmed. There was Draco Malfoy and his posse across the room hanging about like they were gracing this place with their presence. Tonks was closer to him, though she hadn't noticed him yet. She was snatching a few more pastries from another trolley. He was about to walk up and say something like, "Here. I've got something better for you than that." No that sounded absurd. How about something playful like, "No sweets before dinner young lady." Now that was even worse. Harry couldn't believe he was actually practicing what to say to her. He'd never had to before. Why was he suddenly so nervous?

His stress began to slip away as he watched her get some kind of whipped icing all over her hand and shirt when she picked up and promptly dropped a confection. It was comical how she tried to catch it several times as it fell to the floor. Attempting, then to find it and pick it up she bent over but her heal found it first. She slipped and slammed  the trolley against the wall causing a loud bang to get everyone's attention. Instead of looking around at everyone in the room she only looked briefly in Malfoy's direction. They were laughing. Tonks looked down at the mess on her new black turtleneck. She tried to play it off by laughing with them but they just rolled their eyes and shook their heads. Then she tried to lick the stuff off of her thumb which only served to transpose the icing to her check.

Still Harry did nothing. He was a little too lost in thought to think of going over and helping her clean up. He snapped out of it, took a deep breath and began to walk over. Tonks snatched one more half eaten slice of pumpkin pie before crossing the room and unknowingly left Harry at a loss. He tried to follow casually. Yeah right. Like he could look casual now.

"Wotcher, Draco." She said, "'Ow ya been? 'Aven't seen you at one a these things in a long while." Draco just sat and stared as if he couldn't believe she was actually trying this. She pretended not to notice. "These your friends then? Allo there." She turned to address Crabbe and Goyle. "Nymphadora Tonks. Nice to finally meet you." She leaned in and shot out a friendly hand. Nothing happened for a beat. "Friends call me 'Tonks'".  After a long moment, and more of a chance then she should have given them, Tonks took back her hand and glanced at it once before hooking the thumb on the belt loop of her jeans. "Draco's cousin." She said almost like it was a question.  Draco stopped staring only to heave an exaggerated sigh of annoyance then stared again.

"Right." Another beat went by. "Sorry. Am-am I interrupting something..." She was about to finish with "Should I come back later?" But Draco's reply was quick, loud, and harsh. "Yeah. Ya think?" The others laughed again.

She gave him a dark look that seemed to say 'don't sass me, kid'. Before anything else could happen Draco got fed up and walked off mumbling "Come on." To the crew. As they walked off he spoke to his cronies but loud enough for her to hear, "Isn't it annoying when some one doesn't realize when they're not wanted?"

Harry just stood there shocked with a plate of food in one hand and a cup of punch in the other. He wasn't at all surprised by Draco. That little punk was down rite predictable. But Tonks... He didn't understand why she just took that. Or why she even bothered in the first place. She was just standing there now being stared at by a bunch of Slytherin types. Either she pretended not to see them as well or she was off in her own world. She just stood frozen with her thumbs in her belt loops chewing on her top lip.

Harry finally approached her. "Tonks?"

"Oh. Harry, hi. Where've you been hiding yourself? I haven't seen you all Afternoon." She regarded him with a sideways look. Her tone was a sad attempt at cheer.

"I uh... well... I... Here." He thrust the plate and drink before him. Real smooth. At least it was better than what he had practiced.

She looked at the plate, still not quite turning around. A bitter sweet smile came to her lips but it didn't reach her eyes. "Thanks." She said finally turning to accept the plate. "That's real sweet of you. I appreciate it."

"Aw it's nothing."

"No really. I mean it."

"It's just some taters and stuff."

"But you thought of me. I don't think people really appreciate little things. We just kind take them for granted... while we have them."

"Why did you just take that from _Malfoy_ of all people."

"He's my little cousin, Harry. Ya know... believe it or not, he was a real cute kid once." Suddenly it dawned on Harry who the little blonde boy in the picture was.

As Harry and Tonks made their way back to the main room, he started thinking about what she said. He wondered if he had taken Sirius for granted. For a moment he actually felt worse for Tonks. After all, Sirius didn't deliberately choose to remove himself from Harry's life. Maybe he was taking everyone else for granted now. If he could actually be happy with his friends for a moment then he should take it without guilt. Because they may be gone tomorrow.

The subject of conversation had gotten back on American Thanksgiving traditions.

"...So everybody was going around the table one by one, and it was a big table mind you, _sayin what they're thankful for_." He said that last part in a mock tone of voice. "I'm waitin to eat..."

"Well we should be thankful." Molly Weasly interjected.

"Yes but I don't need one set out day in a year to tell me what to be grateful for, like I'm an idiot." Tonks flopped down on the couch beside him with her plate of ham. She leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. "Why should I sit there and listen?"

"Well, Rupert" Tonks said before looking at him sideways like she did with Harry. "Because some of us are idiots." She turned back to inspect a piece of ham in her fingers. "Because some of us don't know what we have until it's gone. And then all we can do is..."

There was a dead silence in the room as the normally jovial Tonks seemed about to say something quite sobering.

"...Thank God for the memories."


End file.
